Saturday, February 2, 2013

Oh, Tricky Definition

In which our hero searches for answers for questions that vex him....

More specifically the answer to one question: what is love?

Now don't think that I am descending into sophistry like the of Pilate or Plato. I am not looking for the keys to the universe, just trying to assemble thoughts based on personal experience and various external references.

This question was brought to my mind by a friend asking me what my personal definition of 'love' is. I tried to express, in as few words as possible, what it is. This is one of those times that words become hard. I told my friend that I have often re-considered my definition.

There are times when I will sit and do nothing but think. If you see me sitting and staring into space, it probably means that I have something like this on my mind. I attempt to regularly re-analyze my thoughts and opinions according to new experience or data, with only a few constants that provide perspective and inform my conclusions on all other subjects. I, no doubt, often arrive at the wrong conclusion. I am blessed though to have the best sounding boards in the world, my brothers, particularly my older brother, and my mama.

But anywho, that was rambling, you are probably thinking, 'and when will he get back to his subject?'

Love, as it is used in such times as, 'in love' or, of course, "I love you." How do I even begin to think about these things?

My definition, as of right now, is based on the understanding that the model for matrimonial love is Christ's love for the church. Then why should this not apply to all love between a man and a woman? That the ultimate definition of love is sacrifice? A giving of self for the sake of your beloved. Of course no man can keep this love purely, but it is still our example. A man should love his wife, and sacrifice for her, without thought of self or reputation.

Now how anyone ever reaches that point is still well beyond my ken. I know what I think love looks like, but that doesn't mean that I can see it.

Thanks for reading my spiel.

2 comments:

Maggie said...

Love is action (as opposed to feeling), right? So by Christ's example, doesn't that mean that love is sacrifice, or perhaps willingness to sacrifice? (Wondering--for the wife, the church, is it submission?)

Can't remember if I've actually commented before. Hi, it's Maggie.

Clangore said...

Sacrifice is, I think, the most important element. From both sides. A man must leave everything he has ever known and cling to his wife. Similarly the wife is asked to respect her husband. I think that the Anglican/Luther's wedding rites made a very important distinction; the husband must love and sacrifice for his wife, and she must respect that love and sacrifice. There is a lot more to it than that, certainly. The comparison of marriage to Christ and the Church is only really a guide. No man has been, nor can he be, what Christ is to the Church, but that is still the model that marriages should follow.