An Italian Inspired Introspectus

In which our hero devotes some thought to himself, an opera, and a Baritone....


This Thursday, I had the distinct delight of accompanying a group spectacular persons to see the Lyric Opera of Chicago. The Opera: Rigoletto. I was familiar with the story and most of the music, however I had never seen a full production of it....

Now, shame of shames, I must admit that, music enthusiast though I be, I had not, until Thursday, seen a full Opera production.
After that disgraceful admission, back to the first line of thought. Let's hope it's still there....

(Which it is!) ....The cast was incredible, with the exception of a lackluster tenor as the Duke. The Soprano -Gilda- soared through the stratosphere and never once were my ears offended. The Bass -Sparafucile- was exactly what you wanted to see and hear, he was big, he was scary, and he could sing that low F so that you didn't hear it, you felt it, in your very soul.

But the star, the crowning jewel of this cast, was the Baritone playing Rigoletto. The gentleman said in the program that he didn't act the character, the character spoke for itself. He said that he, as a father of children Gilda's age, could sympathize with Rigoletto's paranoia, and eventual despair.

(Interjection) If you are unfamiliar with Rigoletto, familiarize yourself, it is perhaps the best opera ever written, full of beautiful music with a story to break your heart.

Back to regularly scheduled ranting-
To say that I cried for Rigoletto's misfortune, would be a gross understatement, I wept. I got teared up just thinking about it right now. This is, in no small part, due to the Baritone. His performance was better than I could express in my few and meager words (let the reader understand). I cried in anticipation of his suffering, I cried for his fate as a cripple, I cried for his dead wife. Plot elements that I usually just absorb and shove into the back of my mind for reference, all were made real by that man's performance.

But I said 'Introspectus' didn't I?
Ah yes. Myself. My favorite topic, as always.

Recently I have been doing an inordinate amount of thinking. It has been quite painful actually. I wrote, on this very blog, not long ago about who I am, or who other people think I am. I have always thought that I had a great deal of self awareness. I know why I do things, why I don't do them, why I like or dislike certain things or people on a very base level. That sort of thing I have always thought myself geared for.

I am a planner. I got excited the first time I got a 'week at a glance' schedule for school. I like freedom for the time I have left, but I love the structure. Not that I am highly structured, as you can likely tell by reading my writing.

So then, as it is put, to the heart of the matter.

Thursday was the first time in my life that I have felt  not only an interest in, but a desire to pursue Opera. I do not honestly know if I have the voice for it or not, (But that is for another blog post and more thinking) but I am going to speak with those that I trust on such matters. The other edge of this dagger is what it would mean for me in terms of the future. If I want to do opera, I have to really go for it. I have to plan for it, or not. I am not vain to think that I could perform on the Baritone's level, but that doesn't stop me from trying.

That then is my cause for such elongated introspection. I go back and forth in my mind. I need time, which I do have an abundance of at the moment. But I also need counsel and I am going to seek that in its many and diverse forms.

I would appreciate the prayers of those who are willing or so inclined. Such is the main solace I seek.

And that all just has to do with my contemplations of my music career; my brain is fraying at the edges with all of the other stuff regarding life in general.

I didn't mean for that to go quite so long. I started and I really couldn't stop. Sigh.
Thank you for reading.